Monday, March 13, 2017

Soap & Glory Smoothie Star Body Buttercream Review

In my efforts to find the best body care things (and draft up an ultra sexy body care guide), I’ve been trying a LOT of body stuff lately. And it’s with this in mind that I bought and tried Soap & Glory’s Smoothie Star Body Buttercream. I’ve been hearing so many amazing things about this brand so I thought I had to give it a try.


Spoiler Alert: I did not need to give it a try.


What is it?
According to Soap & Glory, Smoothie Star Body Buttercream is a nourishing “body buttercream for irresistibly smooth and ultra-soft skin.”


Ingredients: Aqua (Water), Glycerin, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea) Butter, Cetearyl Alcohol, Glyceryl Stearate, Theobroma Cacao (Cocoa) Seed Butter, Prunus Amygdalus Dulcis (Sweet Almond) Oil, Cocos Nucifera (Coconut) Oil, PEG-100 Stearate, Dimethicone, Phenoxyethanol, Caprylyl Glycol, Dipropylene Glycol, Parfum (Fragrance), Pistacia Vera Seed Oil, Carbomer, Ethylhexylglycerin, Tocopheryl Acetate, Hydroxyethylcellulose, Linalool, Propylene Glycol, Potassium Hydroxide, BHT, Coumarin, Glyceryl Acrylate/Acrylic Acid Copolymer, Tetrasodium EDTA, Alpha-Isomethyl Ionone, Sorbitol, Vanilla Planifolia Fruit Extract, Denatonium Benzoate, Benzoic Acid, CI 19140 (Yellow 5), CI 14700 (Red 4), CI 16035 (Red 40)
As you can see, this body cream is pretty basic containing, well, basic ingredients. The nourishment stars are shea butter, glycerin, cocoa butter, and coconut oil. Shea butter and  cocoa butter are occlusives. They help seal in skin’s moisture and can help with transepidermal water loss. Glycerin is a humectant. It draws in moisture to the skin. Coconut oil is an emollient. Emollients like coconut oil make the upper layers of skin pliable and soft. Moisturizers in those three forms can also act as a combination thereof. Such as dimethicone, which acts as an occlusive and an emollient. If you want to know more about moisturizer types and function, read more here by the ever eloquent Lab Muffin.


There’s also fragrance heavily featured throughout the product. -foreboding thunder crash in the distance- Huh? What was that…?

What’s it like?

Smoothie star is a thick cream. Think whipped cream cheese type of thick. Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal. Thicker than me. Thicker than Nicki! Actually, scratch that- nothing is thicker than Nicki.

if you listen closely, you can hear trills of disappointment in the distance
Unfortunately, here comes where I reveal the deal breaker (in case you haven’t picked up on it already). Guys… this thing smells like ass. I gag every time I unscrew the lid to put some on. And I’m a big fan of fragrance! It doesn’t bother my skin and I think appropriate fragrance really adds to the luxury of skincare and beauty/pampering.


Now I know fragrance is personal. Some of the smells I love, others hate and vice versa. So I knew I had to have everyone I know smell this (and smell me) to really make sure it wasn’t me. AND EVERYONE HATED IT. My dad, my brother, my friend Nicole, my classmates. You guys. This is a terrible, bad fragrance. It smells like what an alien would think vanilla smells like. There’s a slight hint of barely perceptible sweet vanilla… intertwined with an acrid assault of plastic, fake chemically almond, and heavy, heavy indistinguishable nastiness that I can only refer to as chemical stanch. You know, that chemical smell that makes you sick/unhappy? It’s that smell.

What do I think?

This could have been the basic body cream of my dreams. It’s truly thick and pretty moisturizing upon application. It absorbs relatively well- there’s a bit of a hint of product left after rubbing in (which I suspect is a result of the dimethicone or butters) but it gives a lovely sheen that I quite like. It leaves a thick feeling on hands, but I really do enjoy the feel of it on my arms and legs.

I mean, the sheen is lovely.
HOWEVER! The moisture it does impart isn’t long lasting. I feel like I need to reapply throughout the day which just isn’t feasible with a body cream in a giant tub. Especially when I can apply a thick body cream by other brands and it's one and done.

And the smell… -cries to the sky- that sensory assailing, everyone’s looking for the source stench.


Suffice to say I won’t be repurchasing. I plan to use up the jar on my toes and legs but only when I know I’ll be able to wash it off before I see people next. And I won’t be using it in places I’ll be able to smell it on. Honestly y’all, I have been washing my hands after use it’s that bad. If you’re looking for a body cream that isn’t a nightmare- try The Body Shop. Everything I’ve bought from them has smelled amazing and the moisture lasts much, much longer than this did. Also it’s cheaper. They’re just better products overall, in my opinion.


Longevity
I find this cream leaves my skin feeling soft for a few hours- roughly 3-4. AKA not long enough for a body cream. The smell, somehow, horrifyingly, lasts much longer.


In terms of product life, while the jar itself advises utilizing a scoop, I use a much smaller amount to smooth on. Moreover, given I won’t be using it everywhere, I imagine the jar itself will last me quite a long time.


Cost
I nabbed this cream during a fevered small Ulta haul and paid 15 bucks for it. Which is about 20 bucks too much. THAT’S RIGHT ULTA SHOULD HAVE PAID ME FOR THE HELL I WAS ABOUT TO UNKNOWINGLY INFLICT UPON MYSELF. -ahem- I mean. Ignoring the smell, this cream is reasonably price for the amount in the jar.


Use
This body cream is best used as shop shelf filler. Or desperate, “I already purchased it and I’d feel too guilty pawning it off” foot cream. The packaging is relatively cute as it stays in a lovely color family of yellows, pinks, and grays… this is the only other nice thing I can say about this stuff. Please don’t buy it. You will regret it.

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